TOBUSCUS ADVENTURES
by Mooshbuscus
Summary: A COLLECTION OF STORIES OF THE EPICOSITY OF TOBUSCUS AND HIS ANIMAL COMPANION, GRYPHON. Rated T for some language and sexual innuendo


"Come on Gryphzor! Grab your murder sword have to go to east LA and rescue Olga Kay," were the first words Toby said as he entered into his living room, followed by his dog, Gryphon-who had recently learned how to speak. And he happened to sound alot like Toby whenever he did and impression of Sean Connery.

"Yesh, my mashter," Gryphon said as he stopped to urinate on the carpet.

"Bad Gryphzor!" Toby said. He pointed at the pee pad. "Urinate on the pee pad, Falcor! I thought you knew better than that."

"I jusht want a treat," Gryphon stated.

"Oh," Toby said. He grabbed a doggy bone then tossed it at the shitzu. "Now..." He walked over to his fridge. "To east LA!" He grabbed the diamond sword magnet that magically turned into a full sized sword for him to hold.

Gryphon came running in. "Don't forget your armor, Lord Tobushcush," he said.

"Yes, the armor," Toby said. He went back upstairs and into his bed room. He walked to the closet and pulled out his iron armor (because we all know he keeps it there. Where else would it be? The bathroom?). He quickly got it on over his Tobuscus shirt and jeans. He finished it off with his Heely boots-custom made.

He grabbed the box of Gryphon's platemail armor and put it on the small dog. He stood up. "Now to east LA!" he exclaimed, holding his sword out like the hero that he is.

"Queshtion, Mashter," Grphon said.

Toby looked down at Gryphon, still holding his stance. "What, Gryphzor?" he asked.

"Why are we going to reshcue Olga?" Gryphon asked.

Toby looked forward. "Because she was taken," he started. He took a step forward, pointing the sword down then put it on the floor, leaning against it. "By creepers."

* * *

><p><em>We cut to Olga Kay, tied to a chair, surrounded by a dozen green men with sad faces, no arms, and four legs. And they were just dying to explode.<em>

_Must be terrorists._

_"Help," Olga says silently like the damsel in distress that she is._

_(Back to_ _Tobusucs)_

* * *

><p>"By God, that ish the shtupidesht thing I have ever heard, Tobushcush," Gryphon said.<p>

Toby straigtened up and lifted the sword. He looked at Gryphon. "Shut your mouth, talking dog," he said. "I liked it better when you didn't talk." He looked forward once again. He stepped out of the bedroom and the stairs turned into a ramp. He leaned back on his heels and rolle down it. "Wheeeeeeewwwww!" he exclaimed on the way down.

* * *

><p><em>"Oh, Tobuscus, help me," Olga said. "What would I ever do without my incapable hero?"<em>

* * *

><p>Toby and Grphon made their way through the forest that happened to be right outside his house (casue we all know it's there). They stopped to hide behind a tree when the noticed a Skeletonian man walking back and forth in front of a large warehouse, bow ready to shoot any uninvited guests.<p>

Toby looked at his warrior dog. "We must create a distracion," he said.

"I will go, Toby," Gryphon said.

"But Gryphzor, you'll die!" Toby exclaimed quietly.

"A lossh for the greater good," Gryphon said.

Toby put a hand on the shitzu. "I can't let you do it, buddy," eh said. "Life just... wouldn't be the same without you." He looked away to hide the tears that were urging to pour out. "I can't!"

"Why, Tobushcush," Gryphon said, sounding like he was tearing up as well. "I wash not aware of how much yo really loved me."

Toby loked at his dog. "I love you so much, Gryphzor," he said. "You're my pal." They continued to hug. which was difficult since Gryphon was a dog and could not get his short legs around the man.

So they didn't hug and got back to what they were doing.

All of a sudden, they heard the Cavalary sound and looked into the distance. And there he stood. Ready to do what he must to help rescue Olga Kay. Gabuscus. The best darn guy on the planet. Riding a pink pony. And he had a bow and arrow.

One flick of the string, and the arrow went flying towards the unsuspecting Skeletonian man. He went down and disappeared as they oft do.

"Now is our chance, Gryphzor," Toby said. They stood up and ran into the warehouse, slowing down once they were inside. The door closed on it's own and it left them in the dark.

"Now what?" Gryphon asked.

"Never fear, Gryphzor," Toby said. "Because I brought my-" Then he started to sing and dance as he held a torch. "Safety Torch! Put it on your porch! Safety Torch! Scare the monstors away!" Magically there was light and no monstors to be found and they quickly made their way to Olga in a Link fahion.

"Not that I'm wearing Link's clothes," Toby said.

"Shtop your narrating," Gryphon said.

They stopped and looked at eachother. "It makes this easier," Toby said, making a silence between then two.

"Alright then," Gryphon said before they continued on.

They stopped when they made it to a blocked off room with iron could see Olga inside, tied to a chair like a woman in need. There were at least a dozon Creepers around her. He wasn't sure if he could make it out of this alive.

He got on his knees and looked at Gryphon. "If I don't make it out alive," he started.

"We might all be shcrewed here, Tobushcush, sho shut up," Gryhpon said.

Toby nodded. "Duly noted," he said, standing up once again. He lifted the sword and started to chop on the iron bars. They popped open after a while and he stepped inside. "Suck it!" he screamed before swinging his diamond sword around at the Creepers.

With Gryphon's help, they managed to get all the green men killed before they could explode and kill them all. Toby gathered up his experience balls.

Cause we all need balls.

He looked at Olga and dropped his sword, untying her. They both stood up. "My hero," she said.

"All in a days work," Toby said.

"There must be a way I can repay you," Olga said, sounding like they were in a cliche scene that was used way too much.

"Well, there is one thing," Toby said.

Olga smiled and stepped closer. "What is that, knight in shining armor?"

Toby smiled and sat down on the chair. He lifted his foot and pointed at it. "Shine my boots!" he said.


End file.
